How Pleased I Shall Be to Sit on Your Floor Again

The Taming of the Shrew Translation Act 2, Scene 1

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Enter KATHERINE and BIANCA, her easily bound

BIANCA

Skillful sister, incorrect me non nor wrong yourself, To make a bondmaid and a slave of me. That I disdain. But for these other appurtenances— Unbind my hands, I'll pull them off myself, Yea, all my raiment to my petticoat, Or what you lot will control me will I do, And then well I know my duty to my elders.

BIANCA

Skillful sister, don't wrong both me and yourself by turning me into a slave. I won't stand for that. But if information technology'due south my jewelry and dress you want—untie my hands and I'll pull them off myself, aye, everything downwards to my underwear. Or I'll practice anything else you lot command me to do, for I know that information technology is my duty is to obey my elders.

KATHERINE

Of all thy suitors here I accuse thee tell Whom thou lovest all-time. Meet thou dissemble not.

KATHERINE

I order you to tell me which of your suitors you lot similar all-time. And brand sure you don't lie.

BIANCA

Believe me, sister, of all the men live I never yet beheld that special face Which I could fancy more any other.

BIANCA

Believe me, sis, out of all the men alive I've never yet seen that special face that I could love more than than any other.

KATHERINE

Minion, thou liest. Is 't non Hortensio?

KATHERINE

Yous're lying, you hussy. Information technology's Hortensio, isn't it?

BIANCA

If you touch him, sister, hither I swear I'll plead for you myself, but you shall have him.

BIANCA

If you love him, sister, you can have him. I swear I'll even plead with him on your behalf.

KATHERINE

Oh, then belike you fancy riches more. You lot will have Gremio to keep yous fair.

KATHERINE

Oh, then you probably prefer money. You'll cull Gremio who will go along you dressed up in fine clothes and jewelry.

BIANCA

Is it for him you lot exercise envy me then? Nay, then you jest, and now I well perceive You lot have but jested with me all this while. I prithee, sister Kate, untie my hands.

BIANCA

Are you really jealous of me because of him ? You must be joking—and now I tin see that you've been joking with me this whole time. Please, sister Kate, untie my hands.

KATHERINE

If that be jest, then all the balance was then.

KATHERINE

If you consider that a joke, then the rest was as well.

BAPTISTA

Why, how now, dame! whence grows this insolence?— Bianca, stand up aside.—Poor girl, she weeps! [To BIANCA] Go ply thy needle; meddle not with her. [To KATHERINE] For shame, thou hilding of a devilish spirit! Why dost thou incorrect her that did ne'er wrong thee? When did she cross thee with a bitter discussion?

BAPTISTA

What's going on, woman? How dare you!—Bianca, stride away from her.—The poor girl, she's weeping!

[To BIANCA]  Go do some sewing, and don't talk to her.

[To KATHERINE]  For shame, you barbarous creature, you devil! Why would you hurt her when she's never done you any harm? When did she ever speak a single fell give-and-take to you?

KATHERINE

Her silence flouts me, and I'll be revenged.

KATHERINE

Her silence mocks me, and I'll get my revenge on her.

BAPTISTA

What, in my sight?—Bianca, get thee in.

BAPTISTA

What, right in front of me?—Bianca, go inside.

KATHERINE

What, volition you not suffer me? Nay, at present I meet She is your treasure, she must take a husband, I must dance barefoot on her wedding solar day And, for your love to her, lead apes in hell. Talk not to me. I will become sit and weep Till I can find occasion of revenge.

KATHERINE

What, y'all tin't even stand my presence? At present I see that she is your treasure. She must have a husband, while I must dance barefoot on her wedding day and lead apes in hell , all because you honey her most. Don't speak to me, I volition go weep and expect until I can get my revenge.

BAPTISTA

Was e'er gentleman thus grieved every bit I? But who comes here?

BAPTISTA

Was at that place ever a man who suffered similar I do? Merely who's this coming?

Enter GREMIO, LUCENTIO in the addiction of a mean human; PETRUCHIO, with HORTENSIO as a musician; and TRANIO, with BIONDELLO bearing a lute and books

GREMIO

Good morrow, neighbor Baptista.

GREMIO

Good morning, neighbor Baptista.

BAPTISTA

Good morrow, neighbor Gremio.—God salvage you, gentlemen!

BAPTISTA

Good morning, neighbor Gremio.—Hello and God bless you lot, gentlemen!

PETRUCHIO

And you, skillful sir. Pray, have you not a daughter Called Katherina, fair and virtuous?

PETRUCHIO

And you, proficient sir. Delight tell me, don't you accept a daughter named Katherina, who is off-white and virtuous?

BAPTISTA

I have a daughter, sir, chosen Katherina.

BAPTISTA

I practice have a daughter named Katherina, sir.

GREMIO

[To PETRUCHIO] You are too blunt. Become to information technology orderly.

GREMIO

[To PETRUCHIO] You're being too blunt. Go about it with more ceremony.

PETRUCHIO

You wrong me, Signior Gremio. Give me go out.— I am a gentleman of Verona, sir, That hearing of her beauty and her wit, Her affability and bashful modesty, Her wondrous qualities and mild beliefs, Am assuming to testify myself a forward invitee Within your business firm, to make mine eye the witness Of that report which I then oft accept heard. And, for an entrance to my entertainment, I practise present you with a human of mine, [presenting HORTENSIO , disguised as LITIO ] Cunning in music and the mathematics, To instruct her fully in those sciences, Whereof I know she is not ignorant. Accept of him, or else yous practise me incorrect. His name is Litio, born in Mantua.

PETRUCHIO

Yous do me incorrect, Sir Gremio. Let me continue. —I am a gentleman of Verona, sir, who has heard of your girl's beauty and wit, her friendliness and bashful modesty, her wondrous talents and mild behavior. I have now boldly come every bit a guest to your house to try and run across for myself all the things I've heard reported. And, to pay the price of my admission to your hospitality, I here nowadays y'all with a retainer of mine.

[He presents HORTENSIO, disguised as LITIO] He is skilled in music and mathematics, and can instruct your daughter in these fields of study—in which I know she is no beginner. Accept him, or else risk offending me. His name is Litio, from Mantua.

BAPTISTA

You're welcome, sir, and he for your good sake. But for my daughter Katherine, this I know, She is not for your turn, the more my grief.

BAPTISTA

You're welcome hither, sir, and he is too, for your sake. Only as for my girl Katherine, this much I know: she won't meet your expectations—and that'due south a compassion for me.

PETRUCHIO

I see you practise not mean to function with her, Or else y'all similar not of my visitor.

PETRUCHIO

I meet that you don't intend to part with her, or else y'all don't like my visitor.

BAPTISTA

Error me not. I speak but as I find. Whence are you, sir? What may I call your name?

BAPTISTA

No, don't misunderstand me—I'm simply stating the facts. Where are you from, sir? What name should I call you lot?

PETRUCHIO

Petruchio is my name, Antonio'south son, A man well known throughout all Italian republic.

PETRUCHIO

Petruchio is my name. My father was Antonio, a human well known throughout Italia.

BAPTISTA

I know him well. You are welcome for his sake.

BAPTISTA

He's well known to me. You lot are welcome for his sake.

GREMIO

Saving your tale, Petruchio, I pray Let us that are poor petitioners speak too. Bacare, you are marvelous forrad.

GREMIO

With all due respect, Petruchio, please allow us poor petitioners go a give-and-take in also. Stand back—you're too forward.

PETRUCHIO

Oh, pardon me, Signior Gremio, I would fain exist doing.

PETRUCHIO

Oh, pardon me, Sir Gremio. I'grand just eager to go downwardly to business concern.

GREMIO

I doubtfulness it not, sir, only y'all will curse your wooing.— [To BAPTISTA ] Neighbor, this is a souvenir very grateful, I am sure of it. To express the like kindness, myself, that have been more than kindly beholding to y'all than any, freely give unto you this young scholar [presenting LUCENTIO , disguised as CAMBIO ] that hath been long studying at Rheims, as cunning in Greek, Latin, and other languages equally the other in music and mathematics. His name is Cambio. Pray accept his service.

GREMIO

I don't dubiety information technology, sir, but yous'll regret your wooing if information technology's successful.

[To BAPTISTA] Neighbor, this is a very gracious gift, I'thousand sure. To express my own gratitude, I—who am more than indebted to you than anyone—offering you the services of this young scholar.

[Presenting LUCENTIO, disguised as CAMBIO]  He has studied at the university in Rheims , and is as skilled in Greek, Latin, and other languages as that man is in music and mathematics. His proper noun is Cambio. Please accept his service.

BAPTISTA

A thousand thanks, Signior Gremio. Welcome, adept Cambio. [To TRANIO as LUCENTIO ] Merely, gentle sir, methinks you walk similar a stranger. May I be so bold to know the crusade of your coming?

BAPTISTA

A thousand thanks, Sir Gremio. Welcome, good Cambio.

[To TRANIO, disguised as LUCENTIO]But, gentle sir, y'all seem to be a foreigner. May I exist so bold equally to ask about your reason for coming here?

TRANIO

[as LUCENTIO] Pardon me, sir, the boldness is mine own, That being a stranger in this city here Do make myself a suitor to your daughter, Unto Bianca, fair and virtuous. Nor is your firm resolve unknown to me, In the preferment of the eldest sister. This liberty is all that I request, That, upon cognition of my parentage, I may have welcome 'mongst the rest that woo And free access and favor as the residual. And toward the teaching of your daughters, I here bestow a elementary instrument And this small parcel of Greek and Latin books. [BIONDELLO b rings the gifts forward] If you accept them, and so their worth is great.

TRANIO

[Every bit LUCENTIO]  Pardon me sir, for the disrespect is all my own. I am a foreigner in this metropolis, just I have come up to make myself a suitor to your daughter, the off-white and virtuous Bianca. I'yard too aware of your firm determination that your eldest daughter must marry first. All I ask is that, in one case you know who my parents are, you make me as welcome as Bianca's other suitors, and give me the same freedom and permission every bit the rest. And as for the education of your daughters, I here contribute a simple instrument and this small pack of Greek and Latin books.

[BIONDELLO brings the gifts forward]  If you lot accept them, then they are valuable indeed.

BAPTISTA

Lucentio is your name. Of whence, I pray?

BAPTISTA

I see that your name is Lucentio. Where are y'all from?

TRANIO

[as LUCENTIO] Of Pisa, sir, son to Vincentio.

TRANIO

[As LUCENTIO] From Pisa, sir. My father is Vincentio.

BAPTISTA

A mighty human of Pisa. By written report I know him well. You are very welcome, sir. [To HORTENSIO as LITIO ] Take you lot the lute, [To LUCENTIO equally CAMBIO ] and you lot the set up of books. You shall go run into your pupils before long. Holla, inside!

BAPTISTA

A mighty human being of Pisa. I know him well past reputation. Y'all are very welcome, sir.

[To HORTENSIO as LITIO]  You take the lute—

[to LUCENTIO equally CAMBIO] —and you accept the ready of books. You volition go encounter your pupils right away. Hey there, within!

Sirrah, atomic number 82 these gentlemen To my daughters, and tell them both These are their tutors. Bid them utilise them well.

Boy, atomic number 82 these gentlemen to my daughters, and tell them that these are their tutors, so make sure to care for them well.

Leave Retainer with LUCENTIO and HORTENSIO, BIONDELLO following

Nosotros will go walk a trivial in the orchard, So to dinner. Yous are passing welcome, And then I pray you lot all to think yourselves.

We'll go for a piddling walk in the garden, and then to dinner. Delight, know that you are all very welcome hither and make yourselves at dwelling.

PETRUCHIO

Signior Baptista, my business asketh haste, And every day I cannot come to woo. You knew my father well, and in him me, Left solely heir to all his lands and appurtenances, Which I take bettered rather than decreased. And so tell me, if I get your daughter's beloved, What dowry shall I take with her to wife?

PETRUCHIO

Sir Baptista, I'm in a scrap of a hurry with this business organisation, and I tin't come wooing every day. You knew my father well, and through him, me, the only heir to all his lands and wealth, which I have increased rather than depleted. Then tell me, if I can win your daughter'south love, what dowry will I get when I ally her?

BAPTISTA

After my death, the 1 one-half of my lands, And, in possession, twenty one thousand crowns.

BAPTISTA

Twenty thou crowns correct away, and one half of my lands later my death.

PETRUCHIO

And, for that dowry, I'll assure her of Her widowhood, be it that she survive me, In all my lands and leases whatever. Permit specialties be therefore drawn between united states, That covenants may be kept on either hand.

PETRUCHIO

And on my side, if I die before she does, as her widow's inheritance she'll go all my lands and the hire from my property. Let's accept contracts fatigued upwards between us, and then both of us volition exist sure to keep upwards our end of the agreement.

BAPTISTA

Ay, when the special thing is well obtained, That is, her dearest, for that is all in all.

BAPTISTA

Of course, once the most important thing has been obtained—her beloved, that is. That is everything.

PETRUCHIO

Why, that is nothing. For I tell you, father, I am as peremptory every bit she proud-minded; And where two raging fires meet together, They do consume the thing that feeds their fury. Though piddling fire grows great with piffling wind, All the same extreme gusts volition accident out fire and all. So I to her and so she yields to me, For I am rough and woo not like a infant.

PETRUCHIO

Why, that is zippo. I tell y'all, father, I am as domineering as she is proud-minded, and when two raging fires come together, they abolish each other out. A little wind volition make a little fire dandy, but a great gust will accident the fire out. I'll exist the great gust to her fire, and she will yield to me, for I am rough and don't woo like a child.

BAPTISTA

Well mayst yard woo, and happy be thy speed. Merely be k armed for some unhappy words.

BAPTISTA

Adept luck with your wooing. May you be successful. But be ready for some unpleasant words.

PETRUCHIO

Ay, to the proof, as mountains are for winds, That shakes not, though they blow perpetually.

PETRUCHIO

I'll exist well-armed against them, like a mount in the wind. Fifty-fifty if it keeps blowing forever, the mount never shakes.

Enter HORTENSIO as LITIO, with his head broke

BAPTISTA

How now, my friend, why dost k await so pale?

BAPTISTA

What's going on, my friend? Why do yous look and then pale?

HORTENSIO

[as LITIO] For fear, I promise you, if I look stake.

HORTENSIO

[As LITIO]If I look pale, it must be from fear.

BAPTISTA

What, will my daughter prove a good musician?

BAPTISTA

What, will my daughter plough out to exist a good musician?

HORTENSIO

I think she'll sooner prove a soldier. Atomic number 26 may concur with her, but never lutes.

HORTENSIO

I think she'd practice better as a soldier. Swords might withstand her, but never lutes.

BAPTISTA

Why, and so one thousand canst not interruption her to the lute?

BAPTISTA

What, y'all don't think you can interruption her to the lute?

HORTENSIO

Why, no, for she hath bankrupt the lute to me. I did simply tell her she mistook her frets, And bowed her paw to teach her fingering, When, with a virtually impatient devilish spirit, "'Frets' call y'all these?" quoth she. "I'll fume with them!" And with that word she struck me on the head, And through the instrument my pate made way, And there I stood amazèd for a while As on a pillory, looking through the lute, While she did call me "rascal fiddler" And "twangling Jack"; with twenty such vile terms, As had she studied to misuse me then.

HORTENSIO

Why no—she's broken the lute on me. All I told her was that she was using the incorrect frets, and I aptitude her hand to teach her the right fingering. And so she jumped up with impatience and said, "'Frets,' is that what you call them? Allow me fret you then!" And with that she struck me on the caput, so that my head went correct through the lute. I stood there confused for a while, looking through the strings of the lute as if they were prison bars, while she called me a "rascal fiddler," "twangling fool," and twenty other hateful names like that. It was as if she'd been practicing and planning to abuse me like this.

PETRUCHIO

At present, by the world, it is a lusty wench. I love her ten times more than e'er I did. O, how I long to have some conversation with her!

PETRUCHIO

Past God, that'south a lively daughter! Now I like her ten times more I did before. Oh, I can't wait to talk to her!

BAPTISTA

[To HORTENSIO as LITIO] Well, get with me and exist non so discomfited. Proceed in practice with my younger girl. She's apt to acquire and thankful for good turns. Signior Petruchio, will you lot go with u.s., Or shall I ship my daughter Kate to you lot?

BAPTISTA

[To HORTENSIO as LITIO]  Well, come with me, and don't be discouraged. Keep in your lessons with my younger girl. She'southward a quick learner and will be grateful for your help. Sir Petruchio, will y'all come up with the states, or should I send my girl Kate to yous?

PETRUCHIO

Please send her in.

I'll nourish her here And woo her with some spirit when she comes. Say that she rail; why and so I'll tell her plain She sings as sweetly as a nightingale. Say that she frown; I'll say she looks equally clear As morning time roses newly washed with dew. Say she be mute and volition not speak a word; And then I'll commend her volubility, And say she uttereth piercing eloquence. If she practice bid me pack, I'll give her thanks, As though she bid me stay by her a calendar week. If she deny to wednesday, I'll require the day When I shall enquire the banns and when be marrièd. Just here she comes—and now, Petruchio, speak.

I'll wait for her here and woo her forcefully when she comes. If she rants and scolds, I'll tell her that she sings every bit sweetly as a nightingale. If she frowns, I'll say that she looks as cheerful equally morning roses newly done with dew. If she is silent and won't say a give-and-take, then I'll praise her for being talkative, and say that she speaks with piercing eloquence. If she tells me to become out, then I'll thank her as if she'd asked me to stay with her for a calendar week. If she refuses to marry me, then I'll inquire near the date for the announcement and the wedding ceremony. Merely here she comes—and now, Petruchio, speak.

Good morrow, Kate—for that's your proper name, I hear.

Hello, Kate—for that'due south your proper noun, I hear.

KATHERINE

Well take you heard, but something hard of hearing. They call me Katherine that exercise talk of me.

KATHERINE

You may have heard that, merely you must be somewhat hard of hearing so. Those who talk almost me call me Katherine.

PETRUCHIO

You lot lie, in religion, for you are called plain Kate, And bonny Kate, and sometimes Kate the curst, But Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom, Kate of Kate Hall, my super-overnice Kate— For dainties are all Kates —and therefore, Kate, Have this of me, Kate of my consolation: Hearing thy mildness praised in every boondocks, Thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded— Yet non so deeply as to thee belongs— Myself am moved to woo thee for my married woman.

PETRUCHIO

You lot lie, I swear, for you are chosen Kate, manifestly Kate, and pretty Kate, and sometimes Kate the shrew, merely ever Kate, the prettiest Kate in God's kingdom, Kate from Kate Hall, my delicious Kate—for all delicacies are Kates —and so, Kate, listen to me: having heard your modesty, virtue, and dazzler praised in every boondocks, though non as highly as you deserve, I have been moved to court you for my married woman.

KATHERINE

"Moved," in good time. Allow him that moved you hither Remove y'all hence. I knew you at the first You were a moveable.

KATHERINE

"Moved," indeed. Then let whoever moved yous here come and remove you lot. I could tell at once that you were a moveable.

PETRUCHIO

Why, what's a moveable?

PETRUCHIO

Why, what do you lot hateful past "moveable?"

PETRUCHIO

Thou hast hit it. Come up, sit on me.

PETRUCHIO

Exactly. Come sit on me.

KATHERINE

Asses are fabricated to acquit, and then are y'all.

KATHERINE

Asses are meant for begetting, and so are you.

PETRUCHIO

Women are made to conduct, so are you.

PETRUCHIO

Women are meant for bearing, so are you lot.

KATHERINE

No such jade as you, if me y'all hateful.

KATHERINE

Not for begetting the likes of you, if you lot're talking about me.

PETRUCHIO

Alas, proficient Kate, I volition not burden thee, For knowing thee to exist but young and light—

PETRUCHIO

Alas, good Kate, I would never burden you lot, for I know you lot're young and calorie-free

KATHERINE

Likewise calorie-free for such a swain as you to catch, And even so every bit heavy as my weight should exist.

KATHERINE

Too lite for a bumpkin like you to take hold of—and yet just every bit heavy as I should be.

PETRUCHIO

"Should be"—should buzz!

PETRUCHIO

"Should be?" Proceed on buzzing, bee!

KATHERINE

Well ta'en, and like a buzzard.

KATHERINE

Spoken like a truthful buzzard.

PETRUCHIO

O slow-winged turtle, shall a buzzard take thee?

PETRUCHIO

Oh boring-winged turtledove, will you let a buzzard catch you?

KATHERINE

Ay, for a turtle, as he takes a buzzard.

KATHERINE

No, this turtledove will catch a buzzard.

PETRUCHIO

Come, come, you wasp. I' organized religion, you lot are besides angry.

PETRUCHIO

Come, come, my little wasp. Actually, you're too aroused.

KATHERINE

If I be waspish, best beware my sting.

KATHERINE

If I'g a wasp, and then you lot'd better beware my stinger.

PETRUCHIO

My remedy is and then to pluck it out.

PETRUCHIO

I'll have to pluck information technology out.

KATHERINE

Ay, if the fool could notice it where information technology lies.

KATHERINE

If a fool like you could find information technology.

PETRUCHIO

Who knows not where a wasp does clothing his sting? In his tail.

PETRUCHIO

Who doesn't know where a wasp wears its stinger? In its tail.

KATHERINE

No, in its tongue.

KATHERINE

Yours, if yous talk of tales. And and so farewell.

KATHERINE

Yours, if we're telling tall tales of tails. Farewell then.

PETRUCHIO

What, with my natural language in your tail? Nay, come again, Proficient Kate. I am a gentleman.

PETRUCHIO

What, you'll leave with my tongue in your tail? No, come back, good Kate. I am a gentleman.

KATHERINE

I'll examination that out.

PETRUCHIO

I swear I'll cuff you if yous strike once more.

PETRUCHIO

I swear I'll hitting you if you lot strike me again.

KATHERINE

So may you lose your arms. If you strike me, y'all are no admirer; And if no admirer, why and then no arms.

KATHERINE

Then yous'll lose your arms. If you strike me, and so you're no gentleman, and if you're not a admirer, then you accept no arms.

PETRUCHIO

A herald, Kate? Oh, put me in thy books!

PETRUCHIO

Are you a annals for gentlemen, Kate? Oh, put me in your proficient books!

KATHERINE

What is your crest? A coxcomb?

KATHERINE

What's your family unit crest? A coxcomb?

PETRUCHIO

A combless cock, so Kate volition be my hen.

PETRUCHIO

I'd be a cock without a comb, if Kate will be my hen.

KATHERINE

No erect of mine. You crow besides like a chicken.

KATHERINE

Then you lot'd be no cock of mine. You won't fight.

PETRUCHIO

Nay, come up, Kate, come. You must not wait so sour.

PETRUCHIO

Come up, Kate, come. Don't await so sour.

KATHERINE

It is my fashion, when I see a crab.

KATHERINE

That's simply what I do, when I encounter a crab apple.

PETRUCHIO

Why, here's no crab, and therefore look not sour.

PETRUCHIO

Why, there'south no crab apple tree here, so don't await sour.

KATHERINE

At that place is, there is.

KATHERINE

Just there is, there is.

PETRUCHIO

So show it me.

PETRUCHIO

So prove information technology to me.

KATHERINE

Had I a glass, I would.

KATHERINE

If I had a mirror, I would.

PETRUCHIO

What, y'all mean my face up?

PETRUCHIO

What, you mean my face?

KATHERINE

Well aimed of such a immature one.

KATHERINE

What a skilful gauge for such a boy!

PETRUCHIO

At present, by Saint George, I am too immature for y'all.

PETRUCHIO

By Saint George, I probably am too young for you.

KATHERINE

Yet you are withered.

KATHERINE

But you're also wrinkled.

PETRUCHIO

'Tis with cares.

PETRUCHIO

That's from worries and cares.

PETRUCHIO

Nay, hear you, Kate: in sooth y'all 'scape not and so.

PETRUCHIO

Now listen, Kate: you won't escape like that.

KATHERINE

I chafe yous, if I tarry. Let me go.

KATHERINE

I'll only irritate you lot if I stay. Permit me go.

PETRUCHIO

No, not a whit. I find you passing gentle. 'Twas told me you lot were rough and coy and sullen, And at present I detect study a very liar. For thou are pleasant, gamesome, passing courteous, But tedious in spoken communication, however sweet as springtime flowers. Thou canst not frown, grand canst not look askance, Nor bite the lip equally angry wenches volition, Nor hast thou pleasure to exist cross in talk. Merely g with mildness entertain'st thy wooers, With gentle conference, soft and affable. Why does the globe report that Kate doth limp? O slanderous world! Kate like the hazel-twig Equally hazel nuts, and sweeter than the kernels. Oh, permit me run into thee walk! Thou dost not halt.

PETRUCHIO

No, non a bit. I find you lot exceedingly gentle. I was told that you were rough, scornful, and sullen, merely at present I see that those rumors are lies. You are pleasant, amusing, polite, not sharp-tongued, and as sweetness as springtime flowers. Even if yous tried, you couldn't frown, glare scornfully, or bite your lip as angry women practise, and you take no pleasure in arguments. Instead y'all entertain your suitors with balmy and gentle conversation, and are serenity and friendly. So why does the world written report that Kate limps along? What a slanderous world! Kate is similar a hazel-twig, straight and slender, her hair is as chocolate-brown as hazelnuts, and she herself is sweeter than the hazelnut kernels. Oh, let me run across yous walk, Kate! You don't limp at all!

KATHERINE

Get, fool, and whom thou keep'st command.

KATHERINE

Become, fool. Order your servants around—non me.

PETRUCHIO

Did ever Dian so become a grove As Kate this sleeping accommodation with her princely gait? Oh, exist thou Dian, and allow her be Kate, Then let Kate be celibate and Dian sportful.

PETRUCHIO

Did the goddess Diana ever grace a forest similar Kate at present graces this room with her queenly walk? Oh, you exist Diana, then, and let Diana be Kate. Then permit Kate exist the chaste one, while Diana is my dear.

KATHERINE

Where did you study all this goodly spoken language?

KATHERINE

Where did you lot memorize all this witty talk?

PETRUCHIO

Information technology is extempore, from my mother wit.

PETRUCHIO

It'south off-the-cuff. It comes from my natural intelligence.

KATHERINE

A witty mother! Witless else her son.

KATHERINE

What a witty mother! Likewise bad her son is witless.

KATHERINE

Yes, proceed yous warm.

KATHERINE

Hardly wise enough to go on yourself warm.

PETRUCHIO

Marry, then I hateful, sweet Katherine, in thy bed. And therefore, setting all this chat aside, Thus in evidently terms: your father hath consented That you shall exist my wife, your dowry 'greed on, And, will you, nill you, I volition marry you. At present, Kate, I am a husband for your turn, For, by this light, whereby I see thy beauty, Thy beauty that doth brand me similar thee well, Yard must be married to no human just me. For I am he am born to tame yous, Kate, And bring yous from a wild Kate to a Kate Conformable as other household Kates.

PETRUCHIO

Indeed, I practise mean to go on myself warm, sweet Katherine, in your bed. But enough chatter. Permit's speak apparently: your father has consented that you will be my married woman. Your dowry is agreed upon, and whether you want it or not, I volition ally you. At present, Kate, I'm the only husband for you. I swear past this light, which lets me encounter your beauty—your beauty that makes me dear you—that you must be married to no man but me. I was built-in to tame yous, Kate, and change yous from a wildcat Kate into a Kate equally obedient as other domesticated Kates.

Enter BAPTISTA, GREMIO, and TRANIO

Here comes your male parent. Never make denial. I must and will have Katherine to my wife.

Here comes your father. Don't refuse my proposal. I must and volition accept Katherine for my wife.

BAPTISTA

Now, Signior Petruchio, how speed y'all with my daughter?

BAPTISTA

Now, Sir Petruchio, how's it going with my daughter?

PETRUCHIO

How but well, sir? How but well? It were impossible I should speed amiss.

PETRUCHIO

How but well, sir? How but well? It would be impossible to get whatever other fashion.

BAPTISTA

Why, how now, daughter Katherine? In your dumps?

BAPTISTA

And how are you lot, daughter Katherine? Are you sad?

KATHERINE

Call you me daughter? At present, I promise you lot You have showed a tender fatherly regard To wish me wednesday to one half lunatic, A madcup ruffian and a swearing Jack, That thinks with oaths to face the matter out.

KATHERINE

You'd dare to phone call me daughter? I swear, you've certainly shown a begetter's tender care in trying to ally me off to a lunatic, a crazed villain and a swearing fool, who thinks that he tin strength his way through with enough cursing!

PETRUCHIO

Father, 'tis thus: yourself and all the earth That talked of her have talked amiss of her. If she exist curst, it is for policy, For she's not froward, but modest as the dove. She is not hot, merely temperate as the morning time. For patience she will prove a 2d Grissel, And Roman Lucrece for her guiltlessness. And to conclude, nosotros have 'greed then well together, That upon Sunday is the wedding day.

PETRUCHIO

Begetter, information technology'southward like this: you and everyone else who've talked near her have all been wrong. If she'south a shrew, then it's for some crafty purpose, for she's not naturally willful, but is in fact as pocket-sized as a dove. She's not fierce, but equally balmy as the morning time. She has the patience of Griselda and the chastity of Rome'southward Lucrece . To conclude, we've gotten along so well together that Sunday will exist our wedding solar day.

KATHERINE

I'll come across thee hanged on Sun first.

KATHERINE

I'll run into y'all hanged on Sunday first!

GREMIO

Hark, Petruchio: she says she'll see thee hanged offset.

GREMIO

Did you hear that, Petruchio? She says she'll see you hanged commencement.

TRANIO

Is this your speeding? Nay, then, expert night our part.

TRANIO

Is this what you call success? So much for our hopes of freeing Bianca.

PETRUCHIO

Exist patient, gentlemen. I cull her for myself. If she and I be pleased, what'due south that to you? 'Tis bargained 'twixt us twain, beingness solitary, That she shall still exist curst in company. I tell y'all, 'tis incredible to believe How much she loves me. O, the kindest Kate! She hung nearly my cervix, and kiss on kiss She vied and then fast, protesting oath on oath, That in a twink she won me to her love. O, you are novices! 'Tis a world to see, How tame, when men and women are alone, A meacock wretch tin can make the curstest shrew.— Give me thy hand, Kate. I will unto Venice To purchase dress 'gainst the hymeneals twenty-four hour period. Provide the feast, begetter, and bid the guests. I will be sure my Katherine shall exist fine.

PETRUCHIO

Be patient, gentlemen. I cull her for myself. If she and I are happy, then what'due south it to you? When we were alone, nosotros agreed that she would go on being a shrew in public. I tell you, it'southward incredible how much she loves me, though. Oh, the kindest Kate! She threw her arms around my neck, giving me kiss later on kiss and swearing vows of love, and in an instant she had won my heart. Oh, y'all are all just beginners! It's astonishing to run across—even a cowardly wretch can tame the fiercest shrew when a man and a woman are left solitary together. —Give me your hand, Kate. I'll now go to Venice to purchase clothes for the wedding. You plan the feast, father, and invite the guests. I'll make sure my Katherine will be beautifully dressed.

BAPTISTA

I know not what to say, but requite me your hands. God send you joy, Petruchio. 'Tis a match.

BAPTISTA

I don't know what to say. Give me your hands. May God requite y'all joy, Petruchio. It'southward a friction match.

GREMIO AND TRANIO

Amen, say we. Nosotros will be witnesses.

GREMIO AND TRANIO

We say Amen to that! Nosotros will be witnesses.

PETRUCHIO

Begetter, and wife, and gentlemen, adieu. I volition to Venice. Dominicus comes chop-chop. Nosotros will have rings, and things, and fine assortment, And kiss me, Kate. We will be married o' Sunday.

PETRUCHIO

Father, and wife, and gentlemen—farewell. I'm off to Venice. Sunday is coming soon. We will have rings, and things, and fine apparel, and kiss me, Kate. We will be married on Sunday.

Exeunt PETRUCHIO and KATHERINE severally

GREMIO

Was ever friction match clapped upward then suddenly?

GREMIO

Was ever a match agreed upon so suddenly?

BAPTISTA

Faith, gentlemen, at present I play a merchant'southward function, And venture madly on a desperate mart.

BAPTISTA

Truly, gentlemen, I'k now playing the function of the merchant, and I've made a drastic bargain.

TRANIO

[as LUCENTIO] 'Twas a commodity lay fretting by y'all. 'Twill bring you gain or perish on the seas.

TRANIO

[As LUCENTIO] Yes, but your appurtenances were just gathering dust and annoying you. At present they'll either bring y'all a profit or be lost at bounding main.

BAPTISTA

The gain I seek is quiet in the match.

BAPTISTA

The merely profit I seek is a serenity, peaceful match.

GREMIO

No doubt merely he hath got a placidity catch. Just now, Baptista, to your younger daughter. At present is the day we long have lookèd for. I am your neighbour, and was suitor first.

GREMIO

And no dubiousness Petruchio will take a placidity catch—no i's going to fight him for her. Merely now, Baptista, allow'south call up nearly your younger daughter. This is the day we've been waiting for. I am your neighbor, and I was her first suitor.

TRANIO

[every bit LUCENTIO] And I am 1 that love Bianca more Than words can witness or your thoughts can guess.

TRANIO

[As LUCENTIO] And I am a human that loves Bianca more than than words tin can express, or your thoughts can guess.

GREMIO

Youngling, chiliad canst non dear and then dear equally I.

GREMIO

Boy, you don't know how to dearest like I do.

TRANIO

[equally LUCENTIO] Graybeard, thy love doth freeze.

TRANIO

[As LUCENTIO] Old graybeard, your love has frozen over.

GREMIO

But thine doth fry. Skipper, stand back. 'Tis age that nourisheth.

GREMIO

But yours will burn out. Stand up back, fickle boy. Age is what nourishes.

TRANIO

[every bit LUCENTIO] But youth in ladies' eyes that flourisheth.

TRANIO

[As LUCENTIO] But in ladies' eyes, it's youth that flourishes.

BAPTISTA

Content you lot, gentlemen. I volition compound this strife. 'Tis deeds must win the prize, and he of both That can assure my girl greatest dower Shall have my Bianca's love. Say, Signior Gremio, what can y'all assure her?

BAPTISTA

Calm down, gentlemen. I will settle this quarrel. Simply deeds can make up one's mind the winner here. Whoever can offer my daughter the most wealth and holding as her widow'due south inheritance will have Bianca's love. So tell me, Sir Gremio, what tin you offer her?

GREMIO

Start, as yous know, my house within the metropolis Is richly furnishèd with plate and gold, Basins and ewers to lave her overnice hands; My hangings all of Tyrian tapestry, In ivory coffers I accept blimp my crowns, In cypress chests my arras counterpoints, Plush clothes, tents, and canopies, Fine linen, Turkey cushions bossed with pearl, Valance of Venice gold in needlework, Pewter and brass, and all things that vest To house or housekeeping. And then, at my farm I have a hundred milch-kine to the pail, Six score fat oxen continuing in my stalls, And all things answerable to this portion. Myself am struck in years, I must confess, And if I die tomorrow this is hers, If whilst I alive she will be only mine.

GREMIO

First, as you know, my business firm in the urban center, which is richly furnished with gold and red china, and basins and jugs for her to launder her dainty hands. My wall hangings are of purple tapestry, my ivory chests are stuffed with gold, and my cypress-wood chests are filled with quilted bedspreads, expensive clothes, bed curtains and canopies, fine linen, Turkish cushions embossed with pearl, golden Venetian draperies, pewter and brass, and everything else you could want for a house or housekeeping. And so, at my farm I have a hundred milk cows and a hundred and twenty fatty oxen in my stables. Everything else I own is of a similar high value. I myself am getting on in years, I must confess, and if I should die tomorrow, all this will belong to Bianca—so long as while I live she will be only mine.

TRANIO

(every bit LUCENTIO] That "only" came well in. [To BAPTISTA] Sir, list to me: I am my father'southward heir and only son. If I may accept your daughter to my wife, I'll leave her houses three or four as good, Within rich Pisa walls, equally whatsoever one Old Signior Gremio has in Padua, Besides two thousand ducats by the year Of fruitful land, all which shall exist her jointure.— What, have I pinched you, Signior Gremio?

TRANIO

[As LUCENTIO]  That "simply" came just in time.

[To BAPTISTA]  Sir, heed to me: I am my father'south heir and just son. If I may have your girl for my wife, I volition get out her three or iv houses in rich Pisa, all of them as expert as annihilation quondam Sir Gremio has in Padua. Along with this, she'll get ii thousand gold coins a year, which is what my land earns me. All of this will be her wedlock settlement. —What, accept I discouraged you, Sir Gremio?

GREMIO

2 thousand ducats past the twelvemonth of country! [bated] My land amounts not to and then much in all.— That she shall accept, besides an argosy That now is lying in Marcellus' road. [To TRANIO] What, take I choked you with an argosy?

GREMIO

Two grand gold coins a yr from his country!

[To himself]  All my country together doesn't add upwardly to that much!—Well, from me she'll have all that, plus a merchant ship that'south now docked in Marseilles harbor.

[To TRANIO]  What, have I silenced you lot with a transport?

TRANIO

[as LUCENTIO] Gremio, 'tis known my father hath no less Than three slap-up argosies, besides two galliasses, And twelve tight galleys. These I will clinch her, And twice as much whate'er thou offering'st next.

TRANIO

[Every bit LUCENTIO]  Gremio, information technology's well known that my father has no fewer than three nifty merchant ships, forth with two large galleys and twelve smaller ones. I'll offering all these to Bianca, and I'll double whatever you might offer next.

GREMIO

Nay, I have offered all, I have no more, And she tin take no more than than all I have. [To BAPTISTA] If you like me, she shall have me and mine.

GREMIO

No, I've offered everything I own. I take naught left. She can't have more than all I have.

[To BAPTISTA] If you choose me, she will have me and mine.

TRANIO

[as LUCENTIO] Why, then the maid is mine from all the earth, By your business firm promise. Gremio is outvied.

TRANIO

[As LUCENTIO] Why, and then she'due south mine lonely, of all the men in the world, by your firm promise. Gremio has been outbid.

BAPTISTA

I must confess your offer is the best, And, permit your father make her the assurance, She is your own; else, you must pardon me. If you lot should die earlier him, where'due south her dower?

BAPTISTA

I must confess that your offering is the best. If your father will second your guarantees, then she's yours. Otherwise, yous must pardon me—if yous should dice before your male parent does, then what would become of all the wealth Bianca is supposed to inherit from you?

TRANIO

[as LUCENTIO] That'south but a cavil: he is old, I young.

TRANIO

[Equally LUCENTIO] That'south a trivial objection: he is onetime, and I am young.

GREMIO

And may not young men die also as quondam?

GREMIO

And tin't young men die also as sometime men?

BAPTISTA

Well, gentlemen, I am thus resolved. On Sun next, you lot know My daughter Katherina is to be married. [To TRANIO as LUCENTIO ] Now, on the Sunday following, shall Bianca Be bride to yous, if you make this balls. If not, to Signior Gremio. And so I take my leave, and thank you both.

BAPTISTA

Well, gentlemen, I have decided. Next Lord's day my girl Katherina is to be married, you know.

[To TRANIO]  On the following Sun, Bianca will marry y'all—if you can make this guarantee. If you tin't, and so she'll marry Sir Gremio. And so I bid y'all adieu, and cheers both.

GREMIO

Farewell, proficient neighbor.

GREMIO

Goodbye, skillful neighbor.

Now I fearfulness thee not. Sirrah young gamester, your father were a fool To give thee all and in his waning age Set foot nether thy table. Tut, a toy! An onetime Italian flim-flam is not so kind, my boy.

At present I'm not afraid of you anymore, boy. You young gambler, your father would be a fool to give you everything and spend his declining years as a dependent in your house. Ha, it's nonsense! An former Italian fox is never that kind, my boy.

TRANIO

A vengeance on your crafty withered hide! Nevertheless I accept faced it with a menu of 10. 'Tis in my head to practice my principal good. I see no reason simply supposed Lucentio Must get a father, called "supposed Vincentio"— And that's a wonder. Fathers commonly Do get their children. But in this example of wooing, A kid shall become a sire, if I fail not of my cunning.

TRANIO

A curse on your crafty withered hide! But I've bluffed successfully without even a face carte . I call back I'll be able to do my main good. I see no reason why the pretend Lucentio shouldn't produce a father, chosen "pretend Vincentio"—and that'll be a miracle. Fathers ordinarily father their children, not the other way around. But in this case of wooing, a child will father a father, if my wits don't fail me.

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Source: https://www.litcharts.com/shakescleare/shakespeare-translations/the-taming-of-the-shrew/act-2-scene-1

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